Form phobia

Please don't send me another form to fill out!  It renders me a quivering wreck and I will spend days creeping around in a fit of despair in case I've filled out something incorrectly.  It happens everywhere!  Even on repeat visits to a medical office - one is required to fill out a form EVERY time one steps inside the office.  There is one establishment that has a threatening statement..'Do not just declare - same info as last time - or your appointment will be cancelled.'   What?   Are they serious?  Suppose I can't remember what I stated before...did I put down my height and weight correctly?  Did I grow a bit?  Did I lose a pound or two?  Is all the information about my previous visits correct?  I can't remember, and sure as taxes they won't give you a copy of your old form so you can check it out.  Let us not forget the form given to international air travellers.  I want to know who the idiot is who would tick the box that asks...Have you been engaged in any terrorist activities?  If I had, (which I haven't, I hasten to add) would I tell anyone on the plane?  I would be discarded as extra ballast over international waters - without a parachute.

I am reminded of enrolling my kids in school every year.  Same school, same teachers, same students, and same parents, but we still had to fill out the same info every time. Once again, no option to state 'same info as last year and the year before, and the year before etc'.  If there was a sign that said..'if you have any changes to your filed information. then please fill out the form', I'd go along with that.

I dream about a utopian society where one's information regarding basic family details is recorded once.  Thereafter, one would only be required to fill out forms if changes have occurred.  All official groups could then access this info (after requisite clearance) and there would be less chance of me especially making a basic error and worrying about the consequences.   

I even have to fill out a form to get my trash picked up - to be able to donate to charity (another form) - and to cancel an order on line, now that's a couple of forms right there!  One form to identify oneself, another to state the problem, and another to explain why there was a problem, and was I sure.  No one who hasn't yet lost the will to live would go through all this hassle if they could possibly avoid it.  And then, they will send another form to ask if the action taken met with satisfaction!  

I have realised that there are those amongst us who wear out shoes, or sports equipment, even cars.  I, gentle readers, wear out keyboards filling in forms.  Yes, I know there's a  program that will fill out forms for me, but I have to fill out a form first, and then maybe, just maybe, I worry about ID theft and want to cancel or erase this program.  It's just too much!  See, in this electronic age...the Establishment should just scan my retina and be done with it.   And what's up with this electronic signature?  Is there a little R2D2 or a C3PO forging my signature somewhere?  Now that's creepy.  Very 'Big Bang Theory'.

There are no prizes for guessing that I am way too phobic (is that a word?) to fill out my tax return.  Almost as scared as shredding old forms that are literally last century. (I've wanted to say that for ages...and now I've said it.)   I do try to get my information right, honestly, I do...but I start to worry that I've made an incorrect declaration somewhere along the line, and they'll come and get me!  It's worth paying someone to take that risk for me. Turbo tax?  Filling out yet another set of forms all by myself?  Are you serious?   They would be sending little men with a funny jacket and long sleeves to take me away.  And I'd let them.

Now I have to post this blog....and I will do it without worrying because I do NOT have to fill out a form.