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Health & Fitness

Buzz....whine

Tis the season!  In fact for most of the year it's the season!  The token insect for Palm Harbor has GOT to be the mosquito.  They should put their pictures on postage stamps. They seek me out whether I am inside or out.  Do I have screens?  Of course I do.  I have decided that the little suckers (literally) are born with the ability to sneak through the smallest screen mesh, and once inside they lurk until they are big enough to find me.  I thought that if I stayed inside, I would be safe, but no!  I could be in bed, in the shower, clacking away on the computer, my thoughts elsewhere when the urge to lazily scratch an hitherto unnoticed itch is the sign that they are INSIDE!   Again!   I have armed myself with a myriad of solutions to the irritating (of course they're irritating - dummy - they're mosquito bites!) bumps and swellings that materialize overnight. I have tried WD40 ( I am assured that a quick blast of this will stop any itching)  and smears of Vick vapor rub.  I have ventured outside with sheets of fabric softener stuffed in my pockets, down my shirt, in my sleeves, in fact anywhere that I can attach a sheet but to no avail.  They're everywhere!   In fact, I have it on the best information that I am the 'plat du jour' for the local mozzies and I'm fed up with it.   I am tired of walking around smelling like the inside of a mechanics garage, or like a locker room oozing menthol fumes.  I resemble a scarecrow with flapping pieces of softener sheets blowing in the breeze and still they find me.   I have heard that one solution is to grow a lot of body hair, but I discounted that as being silly!   If that really worked, then all the waxing salons would go out of business.  According to my research, albeit somewhat limited, I read somewhere that it's only the female mosquito that bites, and that the males are probably reclining in a hammock somewhere, or catching up on the local sports news.  I would therefore deduce that there must be a declining mosquito population as it would be the female that gets clobbered/squished/sprayed as the poor ladies attempt to bring home the bacon.   Personally, I know this is a very old saying, but Noah missed a great chance when he failed to exclude the pair of mozzies from the ark.  Mind you, he probably hadn't been bitten by Mrs Mosquito - or if  he had, he  wouldn't have started to itch until they were well into the 40 days.  Bet he would have been kicking himself later on as the bumps made themselves known.   So I am sure that there is someone out there who is going to tell me about all the good mosquitoes do!  What?  Nobody?  I suppose that if they didn't distribute diseases through the transfer of blood (yuck) then our researchers would be a bit challenged for something to do!  In our dreams, right!    So are mosquitoes the staple diet of anything?  Maybe geckos or wee lizards - but those living on my lanai are falling behind with their duties.   I have discovered a help that does not rely on antihistamine or cortisone creams and sprays.  The maddening itch can be lessened by applying a cloth soaked in hot water - not just mildly hot, but tea making hot.  If you can get past the 3rd degree burn you could get, the itch goes away.  Really.  The trick is to get it hot enough to make you wish you'd never read that piece of advice, but definitely hotter than a comforting warmth.  It does provide relief - not that it helps when you are out and about, but it does help to give you a good night sleep.  Assuming that one of the little suckers hasn't managed to invade the bedding to give you a fresh bite.  Is there no privacy!

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